Friday, June 15, 2012

forward frenzy

I've been busy at a pace that I know is not sustainable. Busy with social engagements, social media, "should" dos, taking on too many obligations and feeling like I'm devoting myself and my time to everything, but achieving nothing. A forward frenzy, created to combat the deafening stillness that creates despair. If I keep busy at a pace that seems productive, then I don't have to think or recognize the hurt and disappointment. I don't have time to care. I think I'm finally coming down from this self-inflicted cycle, with brief flashes of over doing, but I'm finding normalcy. Not a forward frenzy any longer, but a forward thinking, a relaxing into reflection. I'm relating it to the slowing down of a growing vegetable or fruit, like the strawberry above. Pruning the extra sprouts, plucking the premature flowers. The editing before the true bearing of fruit begins. If I don't do this, the plant will start to get "leggy" and unstable upon it's newly formed roots. I need to start the editing, before the true fruits are nurtured.
I need to stop filling my time with too many faces, places and things. I need to take the time to look in without getting lost in the disappointments of the past - and focus on the present. I need to edit the things that don't serve me. Editing and focus have always been a constant challenge, but I'm working on it.
Forward thinking, but patient in the present.
~ x blessings x ~

Thursday, June 7, 2012

remembering


Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same. happy birthday, guardian angel.

Friday, June 1, 2012

not the only one

The blog-o-sphere is such a wonderful place to find yourself and other kindred spirits.  I think some of the greatest inspiration and healing comes from comments made thousands miles away. Many times by someone that might not even know you. But connecting to the universe through the computer screen makes the world a little smaller. There is a comfort in knowing, besides the friends you connect with in person, there are other people out in the world that are a bit like you, C.S. Lewis says it perfectly:   
"Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another: "What? You, too? I thought I was the only one."

I have been following  Susannah Conway for awhile now, her gentleness with herself and genuine posts intrigue me. So when I heard she published a book, 'This I Know: Notes on Unraveling the Heart' I knew I needed it. The day it arrived, I was at work but, I couldn't help but sneak a peek, opening the petite hard-cover and read "....when something bad happens that's big enought to make you question your entire life, all the other hurts... will come out of the shadows and ask to be healed too. It's entirely possible to squash your pain down and carry on with your life, but one day it will catch up with you... with an almighty rip, all your crap comes tumbling out." This one passage reminded me, I'm not the only one.
I'm devouring the book whenever I can, finding genuine reassurance and positivity among the pages. Writing down and thinking about the "assignments", that she calls reflections, planning on revisiting them shortly. And as if the generosity in the pages was not enough, she announced a Class Offer , Exploring the Senses, free if you purchase the book. It starts this week, June 5th, I'm looking forward to delving in a little deeper and exploring my world through heightened senses. Connect with me, if you would like to share in the experience.
grateful, thankful and blessed. ~xo~