Friday, June 15, 2012

forward frenzy

I've been busy at a pace that I know is not sustainable. Busy with social engagements, social media, "should" dos, taking on too many obligations and feeling like I'm devoting myself and my time to everything, but achieving nothing. A forward frenzy, created to combat the deafening stillness that creates despair. If I keep busy at a pace that seems productive, then I don't have to think or recognize the hurt and disappointment. I don't have time to care. I think I'm finally coming down from this self-inflicted cycle, with brief flashes of over doing, but I'm finding normalcy. Not a forward frenzy any longer, but a forward thinking, a relaxing into reflection. I'm relating it to the slowing down of a growing vegetable or fruit, like the strawberry above. Pruning the extra sprouts, plucking the premature flowers. The editing before the true bearing of fruit begins. If I don't do this, the plant will start to get "leggy" and unstable upon it's newly formed roots. I need to start the editing, before the true fruits are nurtured.
I need to stop filling my time with too many faces, places and things. I need to take the time to look in without getting lost in the disappointments of the past - and focus on the present. I need to edit the things that don't serve me. Editing and focus have always been a constant challenge, but I'm working on it.
Forward thinking, but patient in the present.
~ x blessings x ~

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