Sunday, March 29, 2015

never for the shirt

See those stars. That's me. It’s been a week since I completed my challenge. Just enough time to decompress, reflect and catch up on the things have been set aside. The challenge, 30 Bikram Yoga classes in 30 days at 26hot in Glen Ellyn. I wrote about a similar challenge I did last year at another studio I really like in Palatine, New Level Yoga.

Serendipitous, as my life seems to flow, a groupon, that made yoga affordable to practice for the last two months, ran out on the very day the challenge started. A sign? hint from the universe? a push? I’m not the competitive type. This has nothing to do with the accolades, other than knowing I finished. Over hearing girls talk in the shower room after class, “What do you get if you complete the 30 days”? A t-shirt a fellow challenger responds... I interject, “but you don’t do this for the t-shirt.”

My Dad asked “do you have to do this?” Truthfully, I said yes.  

You see, it was 4 years ago this March, I started at this studio. While my whole life was fracturing, I was working a ton to avoid the reality. Emotionally distraught. Empty. My friend, Denise encouraged me to do something I thought was unreasonable: 90 minutes in a 105 degree room with 40 percent humidity yoga, 26 poses. As I walked in the studio for the first time, I saw the poster of the 30 day challengers, and thought who are these insane people. At the end of my first class, it wasn’t pretty, but I did it. I remember telling my friend, I feel like I can breathe fire and try anything. Since then Bikram has been a part of my life, and my healing.

I found this entry in a mostly blank notebook, I ironically grabbed for the class I’m currently taking.
March 23, 2011
“It’s morning, again. Woke up at 5a.m. unable to sleep. Uncomfortable in my skin, uncomfortable with my life, but pressing forward. Struggling with what my life is supposed to be...”
Today, I see my life’s direction and it’s full of possibilities. I’m forever grateful.

As you might imagine, after my practice, I’m completely spent and look like a drown rat. So it is not only the class I need to commit my time to, it’s the getting there, proper hydrating, meditation before, final savasana and of course shower. Approximately just under 3 hours a day, unless I needed to do a double, then potentially 5 hours.
Wow, time. Intense time. Reflection time. Unreasonable time. WORTHY time.
Such an simple idea, time for yourself.
Each time I show up on the mat, I learn something new. 

Here's to you and committing to unreasonable acts of time, kindness and love. 

~ namasté ~